If I Ever Get The Chance
by UnderneathARainbowSky
Summary: Booth finally gets the chance to read the note Brennan wrote whilst buried alive...B/B Oneshot Please R&R !


**Disclaimer; Belongs to Fox ( and whoever else...)**

**Enjoy...**

If I Ever Get The Chance...

It had been lying on the doormat as Parker and I returned from soccer practice.

_Booth, _

_If I don't make it through this alive, I wrote something here that you have to read, something I've left far too late to realize. If I do make it through this alive, Booth, promise to stop reading at the end of this chapter and throw this note away, please. I want you hear it from me, in person, if I ever get the chance. _

_I'm looking at the clock and I know in theory I have fifteen minutes left before, well, before it's too late. I'm crying too, you can probably notice from the marks my tears have left on this paper, and I'm crying because of you. The one and only person who, as I write this, I wish could hold me and whisper into my ear, just like you always do when I need you._

_Booth, (perhaps I should use your first name now? I still think though, that to me, you'll always be Booth.) I need you to read carefully. The prospect of impending death brings an eerily clarified sense of persepective to certain areas of a threatened life, as I now have first hand experience of- priorities were never things I dwelled upon much but, right now Booth, all I can think about is you. _

_Its funny and rather ironic, I guess, that my life has become one long and constant stream of death and now i'm left conciously and helplessly awaiting my own - I'm beginning to hope you were right about god._

_I may as well tell you now because everything I did have to lose, if you are reading this, I have already lost. When you walk into a room, my brain produces chemicals it should not produce for someone who is merely my partner or even friend._

_I think that's my way of saying I Love you, If such a thing exists. I hope you're right about that too. _

_You love me back, I know it, which is one more reason I hate what you may call fate. I spend all my life watching people I love leave, I find someone who loves me back and i have to go and die. Great. _

_You did everything you could to save me, I know that too. So don't take this too hard, please. I don't know why i'm writing this though you'll blame yourself anyway- you're too stubborn. _

_Look after Angela. Tell her she was the best friend i could have found even if i'd looked. And Zach, he'll be incredible you know. _

_So how do I sign off ? Goodbye? I don't want to say it. Yours? I'm my own thank you very much. So i guess love will have to do. I wish we'd had the chance to cross the line. One day, if you're right about things, I should get the chance to say this to your face._

_Love always, Bones. _

I couldn't tell that she'd been crying when she wrote it, because, right now as I stare at it, I can see many tears of my own that have marked that paper too. From the letter , I move my eyes to Parker as he plays with his cars and I realize something.

My world has changed, forever. From this day forward it can't ever possibly be the same again. And that scares me more than the pain I'm feeling.

"Bones" she had signed it and once again had been wrong. She would always be mine. My very own brilliant, intelligent forensic anthropologist and I'd let her slip through my grasp.

HOW? WHY? I'll always love her, yet, I let her leave me.

Then I managed, through my sorry state, to have an idea. An idea of something I had left far too late. After ushering Parker into his shoes and coat and whisking him back to Rebecca's (after much protest, I must add) I made my way to the cemetery. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of this earlier.

"Bones." I whispered down towards the headstone.

"Bones, you've got to listen to me." I pleaded.

I heard a sob and fell to my knees beside her.

" Don't cry, you know I don't know how to deal with you crying." I tried to sooth her, my arm around her shoulders desperate to fill the gaps between our bodies.

"Booth-sob-Booth, I am-sob- NOT crying, sob!" I smiled my whatever-you-say-bones smile and prayed it would work. "My eyes - sob- are just leaking a bit. Sob."

Much to my surprise she twisted under my embrace and buried her face into my neck, as i had guessed, her cheeks were slippery with tears.

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, in fromt of her mothers headstone, but when she spoke all trace of tears had vanished.

"I could've died, Booth."

" But you didn't, we're here, right now and it won't happen again." I tried my best to be reasurring but in all reality I knew she was quite right.

No reply.

I pulled the letter from my pocket and held it out to her.

"It was on my doormat when i got home with Parker, I thought something had happened so I read it.I'm sorry."

She just looked at me but all i could think of was her possible anger.

" On your doormat?" She questioned to which I replied with the affirmative.Then it became obvious who would know that Bones wrote a note to me and think that I should read it...

"Angela" We both said aloud.

"I realise I shouldn't have but I needed to know, Bones, I needed just a tiny strand of evidence that there was a possibility you'd feel the same as me."

I hung my head in shame and awaited her outburst.

Our eyes locked and she spoke in a way I could barely recognise to be her.

"And how's that ?" She asked.

"What?"

"How do you feel?"

The smile that graced her lips was all the asking i needed, before she could run, before she could over-think anything, I kissed her.

And she kissed me back.

And then she told me what, earlier this week, she didn't think she'd ever have the chance to say.

"Thank you."

**The End**

**Thanks for reading, please tell me what you think of it !**


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